Tragic

/ M.Hatter / Leave a comment

The truth, so bitter,
Provokes nausea, churns
In your gut, a scenario
That could have been bypassed.

Vitality, entirely squandered,
Did you presume
I’d remain in the dark?

Those who place their trust,
Find their belief
Shattered by those
Unfit for faith.

Falsehoods and manipulations
Of reality have morphed
Into the contemporary
Sermons, cloaking the
Genuine truth.

Furious, you seek
The culprits, and
They smirk back
Right into your eyes.

They provoke you
To oppose.

Ah, they believe
They’re more cunning than you.

Concealing behind feigned
Outrage, they mask their
True sentiment: terror.

Their apparent indignation
Serves to measure you,
Merely diversions,

A scheme to shield you
From the stark truth that
They are the
Offenders.

The architects of
Agony and distress.

A man finds himself unable
To provide for his kin
Due to these inept figures
In authority.

They have not just
Expended resources and time,
They have ravaged
Your very spirit.

For them, it’s
The ebb and flow
That erases all
Traces in the
Grains.

Simple to be
Significant when you’re
The author of this
Tragic drama.

My son, I love you

/ M.Hatter / Leave a comment

A tale to tell of the man unknown,

Lost to the world, to hardship thrown,

In the veiled market of scant regard,

In the shadow cast by life so hard.

An orb of light, his heart’s sole crown,

A son, his life’s profoundest town.

In the echoes of giggles, the patter of feet,

He finds his existence, bitter yet sweet.

His coffers empty, his spirit bruised,

By wolves of envy, he stands accused,

Yet in the whispers of the night,

His love stands as his beacon light.

Through ragged clothes and crumbling walls,

Through each misstep, each stumble and fall,

His heart beats to a love so pure,

A bond no pain can obscure.

Through vacant pockets and silenced cries,

The joy in his son’s sparkling eyes,

A gift, a balm, a solemn prayer,

A love untouched by despair.

The days are long, the journey steep,

His promises, a pact to keep.

In the heart of his child, he once was, a titan, a star,

In his love, insignificant, he’s never afar.

The world may scowl, the world may pry,

But to his son, he’ll never lie.

Through thorns and stones, he bears the load,

In the silent love, a sacred ode.

Invisible to the world’s cold gaze,

In love, he weaves his quiet praise,

For in his son’s eyes, he was seen,

A hero, a knight, forever serene.

Through silent battles, unspoken fears,

Through the prism of love, he quells the tears,

Bound by love, a pact so strong,

To his son’s heart, he’ll forever belong.

In the cold Arctic of despair,

His love blossoms, beyond compare,

A silent sonnet, a timeless song,

In his son’s love, he finds his belong.

Longing

/ M.Hatter / Leave a comment

In the quiet of his solitude, beneath the sky so wide,
An old man sits and thinks of youth, of love he’d cast aside.
Back to a time when he was young, in the heart of Chicago’s glow,
Working at the local Denny’s, where life seemed to move slow.

Her name was Sherri, fiery and bright, an autumn leaf aflame,
Her beautiful eyes sparkled with life, he whispered her name in vain.
They shared their dreams over sizzling grills, in coffee’s aromatic swirl,
He, yearning for the world’s expanse; she, a Chicago girl.

He loved her spirit, her laugh, her soul, she was his song of songs,
Yet the call of the horizon sang loud, to distant lands he thought he belonged.
He packed his bags, kissed Sherri’s cheek, “I promise sweetheart, I’ll return,”
Sherri chose to stay behind, in her heart, a silent yearn.

He wandered far, he wandered wide, letters penned with care,
Each ending with a whispered promise, hanging in the air.
The years rolled on, his heart grew tired, his dreams began to fray,
The world once vast, now seemed so small, he yearned for yesterday.

Now old and worn, he sits alone, his heart heavy with sorrow,
Missing her laugh, her spirit, her love, and the promise of tomorrow.
He missed the girl who never left, the city’s familiar hum,
The simplicity of Denny’s days, before the world had come.

From his chair, he slowly rose, to his desk of aging pine,
To pen a letter to his love, his sweet valentine.
“I miss you, Sherri,” he wrote with care, “I regret the day I roved,
My heart was always in Chicago, in the city where we loved.”

His heart beats on, in rhythm with time, beneath the sky so wide,
An old man sits and thinks of youth, of love he’d cast aside.
A letter sent, a promise kept, to the girl under neon light,
An echo of a memory, beneath the star-strewn night.

How I wish I never left you…

Broken

/ M.Hatter / Leave a comment

I am fundamentally broken

In the hush of a thousand midnights,
Underneath the star-pricked cloak,
I confess to the silent cosmos,
“I am fundamentally broken.”

In the mirror of my soul’s reflection,
There are cracks too deep to mend,
A mosaic of shattered memories,
A tale too fractured to end.

In the orchestra of existence,
I am the out-of-tune note,
My rhythm lost to the tempest,
On waves of despair, I float.

In the crowd of smiling faces,
I am the one tear-streaked,
A silhouette of sorrow,
A spirit that’s been weakened.

But within this broken vessel,
A resilience starts to wake,
For even shattered glass can shimmer,
Under the dawn’s gentle break.

I am fundamentally broken,
Yet, from these pieces, I start,
In the canvas of my ruins,
Lies the art of a mending heart.

What would you do

/ M.Hatter / Leave a comment

I often wonder what happens at that precise moment when someone passes in their sleep.

We are quick to say they went peacefully. Which implies they simply went to sleep, never woke up or had any understanding of what was happening.

But…what if they did?

What if…

You’re asleep and there’s an interruption in your dream causing you to become aware but not awake.

You’re aware that you’re dreaming. Like an interruption to a regularly scheduled program. Your conscious and subconscious suddenly juxtaposed and you’re in both places.

Imagine how frighteningly strange that would be.

As you start to get used to this new sensation, the landscape starts to change. You look over and notice a place, at the edge of your subconscious forming.

You walk to it and see a clear black line like a seam splitting two realities.

Ahead of you is a reality that you couldn’t quite see clearly. Only colors swirling but nothing more as its being blurred by some gaussian filter.

The space between these realities is big enough for you to step into. Without knowing why, you step into this black seam without fear and can’t move but feel safe at this point.

You turn to look behind and see a ribbon forming with the starting point of your birth. You can see events in your life with exceptional clarity and if you focus, you can almost relive them. The urge to relive your past is strong.

However, something keeps you rooted and aware of what’s ahead of you.

Still, you can see your life clearly and are aware of the feelings you had then. While powerful, these past emotions do not affect your current state but you feel them nonetheless with the same intensity.

Except for now, you are feeling at ease. No fear or melancholy. A serenity washes over you.

As you look at your life, you start to notice branches forming. As if your life was a main distribution line and these branches were veins shooting off into different directions. At start of your life, the veins were not so many. As you progressed in life the number increased significantly.

The veins were connections and impacts you made to other lives and intertwined with other people. The length of the veins depended on how long and much of an impact you made. Some are healthy and vibrant, some are not and some look dead. And for the latter you feel remorse, regret and apologetic.

In the end, you can see the accomplishments of your life and its impacts. You cannot change what has happen.

You notice there are some veins that are vibrate with color. They are so beautiful that they flood you with intense emotion and make you cry with joy and sorrow all at the same time. These are your loved ones. The people who are connected deeply to you by love.

After looking across your life which seems like an eternity and reliving every point, experiencing every emotion and seeing every face of those you impacted, you become aware that ahead of you lies there is the unknown and you turn to face it.

You slowly raise your hand to touch this imagery.

Then a voice booms from everywhere at once. The voice is warm and familiar but you’ve never heard it before and it speaks one word “choose”.

It is the voice of God and it becomes clear what is commanded without a feeling intimidation.

Choose between going back. Waking up in the morning with a vague recollection of what happen, a small tinge of regret for not going forward.

And an optimistic thought that maybe you can repair some of those unhealthy and less vibrant veins you saw.

You can tell your loved ones how much you appreciate and need them too.

Or

Move forward, never wake up again and step into the unknown. To set out on an endless exploration of the afterlife.

It all becomes so clear to you that once you step forward into the wall of swirling colors you will embark on a infinite journey.

An eternal journey where a universe of mysteries stretch out beyond mortal comprehension. The simple questions/mysteries we experienced everyday are inconsequential compared to what is ahead. There are no dangers ahead. No traps or pitfalls. Just a quench to our natural human desire to travel.

You feel a swell of excitement and no sense of loneliness. You know that all pain and suffering would be lifted immediately and never come back.

You are also aware that you would be able to watch the continuation of everyone’s life as you travel.

Which would you choose?

Old

/ M.Hatter / Leave a comment

Maybe I’m stupid, maybe too hardheaded , I don’t want to give up

I’m old, parts of me starting to sag,

gravity is a bitch, so they say.

Who are “they” anyways?

These days, the cold wind cuts through my clothes,

I feel the icy touch in my bones.

Theres no escaping the cruel reality, I’m old.

I try to ignore the obvious. “The elephant in the room” .

Standing there, in the dark corner, grinning like a fool.

Motionless.

Eyes are dead.

“Don’t say dead!”

I look back on the warmth of my youth.

Making love to a beautiful girl under that tree.

The grass was green, and the sun golden.

Things were a lot warmer back then.

What was her name?

The memory fades.

I’m alone, or am I?  I have a hard time figuring that out sometimes.

I don’t see people. Only silhouettes.

Now I’m sitting here, in my frayed robe and thin pajamas, with death in the corner.

How long has he been here?

Cold air biting at my ears.

My pale withered hands resting in my lap.

Wisps of vapor, escaping my lungs with every raspy exhale.

Smoky tendrils floating upward and,

quickly vanishing into the pale light.

A visible reminder that I am still in the game!

Can’t have me yet! But I have no courage to tell him that.

The grin of death, widens.

My heart starts beating fast.

I shiver, it’s so cold. I wish he would go away,

Don’t come back another day.

I still have much to do.

“What do you have to do old man?”

I search my cluttered mind and come up with nothing.

Is this what madness is? Rooms filled with useless and forgotten memories.

An endless tsunami of images, voices and thoughts, washing over me with full force.

I can’t seem to find anything when it counts!

Why is my mind so disorganized these days?

I want to find my way back to that place. That place in the sun.

Making love to that beautiful girl. What was her name?

I would marry her. Or maybe I did.

The place with no regrets. Sins are forgiven and forgotten.

I miss everyone from those days. Where in the hell did all they go?

I know I was there. I just can’t seem to find my way there anymore.

My days in the sun, are long behind me.

Was there ever such a place? I can’t remember.

His lunatic grin widens.

Consumes his whole face now.

“You just don’t get it old timer?”

Tears start to stream down my face as the reality starts to sink in.

“You can’t remember because you ran out of road. There isn’t anymore ahead of you.”

Shaking my head I look down at my wrinkled hands. This can’t be true, can it?

“Take your time old man, you’ll figure it out eventually.”

“I’m not leaving…”

I just don’t understand…

Why don’t he go away?

I refuse

/ M.Hatter / Leave a comment

To be sure, this is the craziest period of my life

sitting in this chair,

a helpless passenger.

A victim of the cruel, but with good intentions, 

or so they say, 

insanity.

So, 

I refuse,

To be intimidated, 

To be used, 

To be marginalized, 

To be over worked, 

To be ignored,

To be forced to compromise, 

To be disrespected,

To be forgotten,

To be patronized,

To be fooled,

To be beaten down,

To be raped,

To be told who to hate,

To be in a position of hate,

I refuse damnit!

I refuse to believe in them,

I refuse to let them bait me,

I refuse to let them categorize me,

I refuse to let them believe they are relevant to me,

I refuse to acknowledge the self entitled,

I refuse billionaires who believe they are benevolent!

I need to rise out of this chair of complacency,

turn off the computer,

switch off the phone, 

put my feet on the ground, 

and keep on trucking.

To leave this period of sin behind me.

I know, there is still good out there, somewhere.

A place just over the horizon,

in that warm yellow light at sunset. 

Isn’t that where happiness lives?

I need to find the way, need directions, I need a map.

But for now… 

I just fucking refuse. It is my right.

Isn’t it? 

  

What do you refuse?

The door at the end of a dark hallway called judgement

/ M.Hatter / Leave a comment 
 
 You shuffle your feet
 with purposeful delay
 for insanity is 
 not too far away

 The pain from your past
 paints the walls 
 of this dark hall 
 your conscious wont last
 
 Cold Shivers, run down
 your spine
 your guilt, has
 soured the wine
 
 From under the closed doors
 light spills out
 Wait, this can’t be happening
 Where is your doubt?
 
 You start to pray
 But what will God say?
 Will you be forgiven today?
 
 You hear laughter and confusion
 while on your knees,
 praying for absolution
 But you find there's no easy solution

 when questioned of faith
 what did you used to say?
 Who is God anyway?
 
 You must walk 
 and do the time 
 each room you pass 
 is your crime
 
 It was hard to conceive
 your part in this, 
 difficult to believe

 screams of anger flood your ears
 from all the people 
 you hurt throughout the years
 
 You had no shame
 you played your game
 they didn't know your name
 or did they?

 The end is near
 funny, you have fear

 There is no one to save you
 except one, 
 who happens to be
 the one 
 that betrayed you
 
 Who can that be? 
 Why you, obviously
 Can't you see?
 
 Now down on your knees
 What say you?

A scary story

/ M.Hatter / Leave a comment

I read this story in the local Japanese newspaper recently and it sent shivers up my spine.

I translated as much as I could and removed the names.

A 36 year old woman, widow, single mother of two living Aichi prefecture, came home after dropping off her children at her parents house.

When she entered her house, she found the family dog in laying on the floor and breathing irregularly.

“I could hear her gasping for air…I had no idea what to do! I immediately rushed to the veterinarian. “

She arrived within minutes and the dog was whisked out of her hands and rushed into the back.

The vet came out after a few minutes and reported they had inserted a breathing tube into its lungs and her dog is now able to receive air.

However, the doctor went on to say that they noticed something is lodged deep in its throat and will require surgery once they can get her pet stabilized.

The mother’s heart sunk and immediately thought it could be one of children’s toys. She asked if everything would be ok and the doctor assured her it would be fine but will take some time for the dog to stabilized for surgery.

She was relieved that her pet was out of immediate danger but still felt anxious about the surgery.

The doctor said it would be a few hours to overnight for observation.

“I was shocked when I heard how long it would take but understood this was serious procedure.”

She went on.

“I felt a little guilty leaving because I needed to get home, change my clothes and then pick up my children later. My parents are getting old and I couldn’t leave them with the children too long.”

“On the way home my head was swimming, what would I tell the children? It’s been hard after their father past away. They love this dog so much. My heart sunk at the prospect of our dog dying. This would be too much for them to take.”

Tears started to well up in her eyes.

“But I had to get home and keep moving despite what had happen.”

“I remember on the way home my phone died and I didn’t have my charger. I was in a panic and thinking, this is the worst day of my life!”

After she got home, she plugged in her mobile phone and started to get items out for dinner later that night.

“It was a super hot day and I had been moving all day so I decided to take a shower and change clothes before heading to my parents house.”

After the shower, she heard the ring of her mobile phone and walked to the living room.

The call she received was from the animal hospital.

“The call was from the doctor and he was screaming at me through the phone.”

“Listen, I need you to get out of the house immediately and seek safety!”

“What? Why? What’s going on with my dog? Is everything ok?”

“Your dog is fine but we found two human toes lodged in its throat…”

“What?! Wait, What?!”

“I remember all I could say was “what?!” Several times and I fell back onto the couch because the room started to spin and I turned ice cold. “

“We believe the person is in the house now. My office has notified the police and they are on their way, but you have to leave now!”

She pauses, shivers and goes on to recall.

“I was so confused and couldn’t process it all. I remember, I looked around over my shoulder, down the hall, towards the bedrooms and suddenly I could feel someone’s eyes on me.”

“Fear started welling up inside me as I was thinking that someone was in the house with me. Could see me, you know,“

She starts to shiver.

“Taking off my clothes and getting into the shower. Someone was there!”

Then she recalled a loud crash coming from down the hall.

“When I heard the crash, everything became so clear. I ran so fast that my towel fell off me but I didn’t stop!”

“I didn’t want to look behind me, I had this feeling he could be chasing me…”

The police soon arrived on the scene and searched the house finding a man in shock from blood loss, missing two toes and huddled on the floor in a closet located in children’s room.

He was later identified as a coworker of the woman and had been stalking her for some time. According to the police reports this was not his first time around her house.

“He has been stalking her for sometime, even before her husband’s death.”

According to the lead detective in the case, they found wireless video camera devices hidden in her bedroom.

“We also found evidence (photos, videos, undergarments, receipts) in his home and car that he indicates he has been been in the victim home as far back as two years.”

The family dog is now recovering at home.

“I am so grateful for her” the mother says as she gently strokes her dog.

“She protected the family and almost lost her life.”

The dog seems to take notice and lifts it’s head up and licks her hand

“She is our guardian angel sent by my late husband. “