She caught me on the street.
She wanted to say,
“Go fuck yourself”,
But
I beat her to it.
And so she did.
dark
In the Yellow Maverick
Out on the open road,
a young boy, should’ve been in school,
instead, a passenger,
riding down highways from one trouble spot to the next.
We always left just in time,
before shit hit the fan,
before we made long-lasting friends,
before report cards arrived,
before we got comfortable,
before we called it home,
before we felt ashamed of who we were.
We hit the road at the right time,
fresh air through the windows,
deafening sound wind ripping through the car,
drowning out the local AM radio.
It was my chore to scan the radio dial
for stations we could pick up.
Fascinated by the concept of radio,
people off in the distance sending music
through the air.
At night, the dashboard and radio’s soft glow
offered little comfort.
No curfews, just slept when you couldn’t stay awake,
praying something scary wouldn’t reach in from the darkness
and grab you.
Daytime was no better. No reading, it made you sick.
Back to the AM radio.
Sometimes I wished I was another kid in a passing
car heading off to a normal life.
My mom, on the run from the law with two
little boys in the car,
swept away from life back home in Georgia,
now living out of a car always on the move.
Now we’re just white trash on the road,
littering the landscape.
Road Rage Romance
Out on the highway,
crossing the great American landscape,
I had a girl with me, hungry and eager.
Pulled in, took a piss, had a cig,
got her some food.
Back on the road, she excitedly opened the bag.
“Where’s your food?” she asked.
“I’m not hungry,” I said.
Truth is, I wasn’t.
“Well, then I’m not hungry…” she said, crumpling the bag.
“Why didn’t you tell me you’re not hungry?”
“Here, let me have a fry.”
“No,” she said, throwing the bag out the window.
“Fuck you doing?” I yelled.
What the fuck? Ten bucks down the drain.
She started to cry.
“Why’d you throw away good food?”
My vision blurred from anger.
“Fuck you! I want to eat with you!” she screamed,
hitting me upside the head. “Why can’t you understand that?”
I reached over and slapped her,
she slapped me back.
We’re both slapping, and I miss the blue lights in the mirror.
Siren kicks in.
“Jesus, see what you did now, you cunt?” I yelled.
She hit me again.
Trying to drive, pull over,
while she’s hitting me,
I’m blinded by rage.
“License and registr- Hey! Stop hitting her!”
“Fuck you! Do you know what she did?”
“He has weed in the car! And he abuses me all the time!”
What the fuck! My anger’s off the charts.
“Out of the car!”
Gun pointed at me now.
I smack her one last time,
the last time for sure.
I never saw her, my car, or my personal belongings,
again.
Tragic
The truth, so bitter,
Provokes nausea, churns
In your gut, a scenario
That could have been bypassed.
Vitality, entirely squandered,
Did you presume
I’d remain in the dark?
Those who place their trust,
Find their belief
Shattered by those
Unfit for faith.
Falsehoods and manipulations
Of reality have morphed
Into the contemporary
Sermons, cloaking the
Genuine truth.
Furious, you seek
The culprits, and
They smirk back
Right into your eyes.
They provoke you
To oppose.
Ah, they believe
They’re more cunning than you.
Concealing behind feigned
Outrage, they mask their
True sentiment: terror.
Their apparent indignation
Serves to measure you,
Merely diversions,
A scheme to shield you
From the stark truth that
They are the
Offenders.
The architects of
Agony and distress.
A man finds himself unable
To provide for his kin
Due to these inept figures
In authority.
They have not just
Expended resources and time,
They have ravaged
Your very spirit.
For them, it’s
The ebb and flow
That erases all
Traces in the
Grains.
Simple to be
Significant when you’re
The author of this
Tragic drama.
Broken
I am fundamentally broken
In the hush of a thousand midnights,
Underneath the star-pricked cloak,
I confess to the silent cosmos,
“I am fundamentally broken.”
In the mirror of my soul’s reflection,
There are cracks too deep to mend,
A mosaic of shattered memories,
A tale too fractured to end.
In the orchestra of existence,
I am the out-of-tune note,
My rhythm lost to the tempest,
On waves of despair, I float.
In the crowd of smiling faces,
I am the one tear-streaked,
A silhouette of sorrow,
A spirit that’s been weakened.
But within this broken vessel,
A resilience starts to wake,
For even shattered glass can shimmer,
Under the dawn’s gentle break.
I am fundamentally broken,
Yet, from these pieces, I start,
In the canvas of my ruins,
Lies the art of a mending heart.
Old
Maybe I’m stupid, maybe too hardheaded , I don’t want to give up
I’m old, parts of me starting to sag,
gravity is a bitch, so they say.
Who are “they” anyways?
These days, the cold wind cuts through my clothes,
I feel the icy touch in my bones.
Theres no escaping the cruel reality, I’m old.
I try to ignore the obvious. “The elephant in the room” .
Standing there, in the dark corner, grinning like a fool.
Motionless.
Eyes are dead.
“Don’t say dead!”
I look back on the warmth of my youth.
Making love to a beautiful girl under that tree.
The grass was green, and the sun golden.
Things were a lot warmer back then.
What was her name?
The memory fades.
I’m alone, or am I? I have a hard time figuring that out sometimes.
I don’t see people. Only silhouettes.
Now I’m sitting here, in my frayed robe and thin pajamas, with death in the corner.
How long has he been here?
Cold air biting at my ears.
My pale withered hands resting in my lap.
Wisps of vapor, escaping my lungs with every raspy exhale.
Smoky tendrils floating upward and,
quickly vanishing into the pale light.
A visible reminder that I am still in the game!
Can’t have me yet! But I have no courage to tell him that.
The grin of death, widens.
My heart starts beating fast.
I shiver, it’s so cold. I wish he would go away,
Don’t come back another day.
I still have much to do.
“What do you have to do old man?”
I search my cluttered mind and come up with nothing.
Is this what madness is? Rooms filled with useless and forgotten memories.
An endless tsunami of images, voices and thoughts, washing over me with full force.
I can’t seem to find anything when it counts!
Why is my mind so disorganized these days?
I want to find my way back to that place. That place in the sun.
Making love to that beautiful girl. What was her name?
I would marry her. Or maybe I did.
The place with no regrets. Sins are forgiven and forgotten.
I miss everyone from those days. Where in the hell did all they go?
I know I was there. I just can’t seem to find my way there anymore.
My days in the sun, are long behind me.
Was there ever such a place? I can’t remember.
His lunatic grin widens.
Consumes his whole face now.
“You just don’t get it old timer?”
Tears start to stream down my face as the reality starts to sink in.
“You can’t remember because you ran out of road. There isn’t anymore ahead of you.”
Shaking my head I look down at my wrinkled hands. This can’t be true, can it?
“Take your time old man, you’ll figure it out eventually.”
“I’m not leaving…”
I just don’t understand…
Why don’t he go away?
The door at the end of a dark hallway called judgement
You shuffle your feet with purposeful delay for insanity is not too far away The pain from your past paints the walls of this dark hall your conscious wont last Cold Shivers, run down your spine your guilt, has soured the wine From under the closed doors light spills out Wait, this can’t be happening Where is your doubt? You start to pray But what will God say? Will you be forgiven today? You hear laughter and confusion while on your knees, praying for absolution But you find there's no easy solution when questioned of faith what did you used to say? Who is God anyway? You must walk and do the time each room you pass is your crime It was hard to conceive your part in this, difficult to believe screams of anger flood your ears from all the people you hurt throughout the years You had no shame you played your game they didn't know your name or did they? The end is near funny, you have fear There is no one to save you except one, who happens to be the one that betrayed you Who can that be? Why you, obviously Can't you see? Now down on your knees What say you?
BlackDayz 