She caught me on the street.
She wanted to say,
“Go fuck yourself”,
But
I beat her to it.
And so she did.
freedom
In the Yellow Maverick
Out on the open road,
a young boy, should’ve been in school,
instead, a passenger,
riding down highways from one trouble spot to the next.
We always left just in time,
before shit hit the fan,
before we made long-lasting friends,
before report cards arrived,
before we got comfortable,
before we called it home,
before we felt ashamed of who we were.
We hit the road at the right time,
fresh air through the windows,
deafening sound wind ripping through the car,
drowning out the local AM radio.
It was my chore to scan the radio dial
for stations we could pick up.
Fascinated by the concept of radio,
people off in the distance sending music
through the air.
At night, the dashboard and radio’s soft glow
offered little comfort.
No curfews, just slept when you couldn’t stay awake,
praying something scary wouldn’t reach in from the darkness
and grab you.
Daytime was no better. No reading, it made you sick.
Back to the AM radio.
Sometimes I wished I was another kid in a passing
car heading off to a normal life.
My mom, on the run from the law with two
little boys in the car,
swept away from life back home in Georgia,
now living out of a car always on the move.
Now we’re just white trash on the road,
littering the landscape.
Memory
In a dark, smoky corner of a forgotten bar,
Where the neon lights flicker like dying stars,
I sit alone, with a drink in hand,
A man whose life never went as planned.
My fingers trace the rim of the glass,
Each scratch a memory of a love that didn’t last,
The stale air heavy with tales of regret,
Of dreams unfulfilled and debts unpaid yet.
The bartender, she nods, knowing all too well,
The stories this man’s weary eyes could tell,
Of days spent toiling under a merciless sun,
Nights lost in shadows, nowhere to run.
My laughter, now, is a crackling radio, static and spent,
Echoing in a room where hours are bent,
Where hope is a coin tossed in a wishing well,
And fate, a dealer with nothing left to sell.
The lines on my face, a roadmap of sorrow,
Each wrinkle a path I’d tread again tomorrow,
For in this world of steel, smoke, and grime,
I’m just another soul, lost in time.
So, in the end, I raise my glass to the ghosts in the room,
To the dreams that died, the love that met its doom,
In a world that spins too fast for those who walk slow,
Im a man who’s been everywhere but has nowhere to go.
What would you do
I often wonder what happens at that precise moment when someone passes in their sleep.
We are quick to say they went peacefully. Which implies they simply went to sleep, never woke up or had any understanding of what was happening.
But…what if they did?
What if…
You’re asleep and there’s an interruption in your dream causing you to become aware but not awake.
You’re aware that you’re dreaming. Like an interruption to a regularly scheduled program. Your conscious and subconscious suddenly juxtaposed and you’re in both places.
Imagine how frighteningly strange that would be.
As you start to get used to this new sensation, the landscape starts to change. You look over and notice a place, at the edge of your subconscious forming.
You walk to it and see a clear black line like a seam splitting two realities.
Ahead of you is a reality that you couldn’t quite see clearly. Only colors swirling but nothing more as its being blurred by some gaussian filter.
The space between these realities is big enough for you to step into. Without knowing why, you step into this black seam without fear and can’t move but feel safe at this point.
You turn to look behind and see a ribbon forming with the starting point of your birth. You can see events in your life with exceptional clarity and if you focus, you can almost relive them. The urge to relive your past is strong.
However, something keeps you rooted and aware of what’s ahead of you.
Still, you can see your life clearly and are aware of the feelings you had then. While powerful, these past emotions do not affect your current state but you feel them nonetheless with the same intensity.
Except for now, you are feeling at ease. No fear or melancholy. A serenity washes over you.
As you look at your life, you start to notice branches forming. As if your life was a main distribution line and these branches were veins shooting off into different directions. At start of your life, the veins were not so many. As you progressed in life the number increased significantly.
The veins were connections and impacts you made to other lives and intertwined with other people. The length of the veins depended on how long and much of an impact you made. Some are healthy and vibrant, some are not and some look dead. And for the latter you feel remorse, regret and apologetic.
In the end, you can see the accomplishments of your life and its impacts. You cannot change what has happen.
You notice there are some veins that are vibrate with color. They are so beautiful that they flood you with intense emotion and make you cry with joy and sorrow all at the same time. These are your loved ones. The people who are connected deeply to you by love.
After looking across your life which seems like an eternity and reliving every point, experiencing every emotion and seeing every face of those you impacted, you become aware that ahead of you lies there is the unknown and you turn to face it.
You slowly raise your hand to touch this imagery.
Then a voice booms from everywhere at once. The voice is warm and familiar but you’ve never heard it before and it speaks one word “choose”.
It is the voice of God and it becomes clear what is commanded without a feeling intimidation.
Choose between going back. Waking up in the morning with a vague recollection of what happen, a small tinge of regret for not going forward.
And an optimistic thought that maybe you can repair some of those unhealthy and less vibrant veins you saw.
You can tell your loved ones how much you appreciate and need them too.
Or
Move forward, never wake up again and step into the unknown. To set out on an endless exploration of the afterlife.
It all becomes so clear to you that once you step forward into the wall of swirling colors you will embark on a infinite journey.
An eternal journey where a universe of mysteries stretch out beyond mortal comprehension. The simple questions/mysteries we experienced everyday are inconsequential compared to what is ahead. There are no dangers ahead. No traps or pitfalls. Just a quench to our natural human desire to travel.
You feel a swell of excitement and no sense of loneliness. You know that all pain and suffering would be lifted immediately and never come back.
You are also aware that you would be able to watch the continuation of everyone’s life as you travel.
Which would you choose?
BlackDayz 